Trish's Blog

There is a special kind of silence in a meeting: the sound of people all pretending they already understand. It often leads to the most important questions never getting asked.

We often feel pressure to be seen to understand, to have the answer, to solve the problem, to offer the advice, to fix the situation. But what if the most valuable thing you can offer is not an answer at all? What if it is a better question?

This matters for Weird Wisdom® because the questions we are allowed to ask are shaped by two kinds of rules. The unwritten ones: we have always done it this way. And the unspoken ones: the quiet assumption that everyone already knows, everyone already understands, so nobody needs to ask.

From my perspective, the unspoken rule is the more dangerous of the two. When we assume shared understanding, we stop checking for it. The question goes unasked, not because it has no value, but because asking it might suggest you were the only one who did not already know.

A good question does something a good answer cannot. It moves you from trying to impress the other person to trying to understand them. It says, without saying it: your perspective matters, and I want to hear it.

When you question the norms, the ones written nowhere and the ones assumed by everyone, you give other people permission to do the same. You make it possible to explore the unconventional: the idea that sounded too odd to raise, the objection someone has been sitting on for months, the observation from the person nobody thought to ask.

That is where wisdom moves in both directions. You might begin a conversation believing you have something to teach. You might leave realising you have learned something worth far more. The people who change organisations are rarely the ones with the fastest answer. They are the ones willing to ask the question everyone else decided not to.

How might this be relevant to you?