Trish's Blog

There is something interesting that happens when you stop volunteering for things people expect you to say yes to.

Some people nod and accept it. Others accept it with a sigh. A few keep circling back the next year as if the answer might magically change. And then there are the rare moments when someone takes your refusal as a personal insult.

In the last few years I have had all of the above.

My refusal to no longer join committees or boards has raised more eyebrows than I expected. I thought a clear statement like “I am a hard no” would be enough. For some, it is. For others, it seems to function more as an invitation to try again later.

Recently someone went further and told me I was selfish.
Selfish for letting others do the heavy lifting.
Selfish for stepping aside while still benefiting from the outcomes.
Selfish for not sharing the workload in the way she believed I should.

I genuinely understand her perspective. From her position, it made perfect sense. But it did not shift my stance, not even slightly.

There were so many explanations I could have offered. I could have reminded her that I spent well over forty years working with, for, and on boards. I could have explained that many of those experiences were more draining than fulfilling. I could have said that this season of my life is focused on my mission and my purpose, not committee agendas.

But I said none of those things.
I looked at her and said, “I believe in diverse perspectives. Thank you for sharing yours.”

That was it.

No defence. No justification. No catalogue of my past contributions.
Just an acknowledgment of her view without inviting a debate.

This is where Weird Wisdom shows up quietly in the background.
It is sitting comfortably inside uncertainty rather than racing to defend yourself.
It is allowing the contradiction of holding your choice firmly while also appreciating that someone else sees it differently.
It is resisting the pull to respond in the conventional way just to make someone else feel better.

Defending your position can drain you quicker than the work you are trying to avoid.
Acknowledging someone’s viewpoint without opening the door to persuasion is surprisingly freeing.

And here is the part people often miss.
Diversity of Thought is not about convincing someone to adopt your view. It is about expanding your ability to understand theirs, even when you do not agree. Especially, when you do not agree.

My no still stands.
Her opinion still stands.
Both can exist without either of us needing to win.

This is adulthood.
This is leadership.
This is Weird Wisdom in practice.

And it is a reminder that holding your ground is not selfish.
Sometimes it is simply the moment you choose yourself.